They say as men get old, graying gracefully is the best thing that happens to them. The salt and pepper effect does wonders to the feminine variety. But what about the ones whose hair withers away before the fall? Thin on top men stop watching soaps like the “Bold and the Beautiful”, they would rather be caught gazing a talk show named “Bald and the Bountiful” Even the holy bible has few words for the balding types, “But the very hairs of your head are all numbered” (Matthew Ch. X, v.30)
My wife who belongs to the category of graying gracefully, ventured into tinting her hair to one of those fair-haired types. At one party as we sauntered in, we were quickly christened as the “Illegally blonde and legally bald” couple of the evening. That was the last time my wife painted her hair. As for me, I took off the very next day hunting for a trichologist. For the uninitiated the trichologist’s area of operation is at the other end of that of a proctologist (The branch of medicine that deals with the treatment of disorders affecting the rectum and the anus). Trichology deals with the health of the hair and the scalp.
The meeting with the trichologist was a hair raising one. I had to answer a whole lot of questions. These included, query on the type of my hair from straight to frizzy, and questions on various shampoos I use. The moment he came to know about my father being completely bald, the diagnosis was quick. I have androgenic alopecia – or for the common man “male pattern baldness”. Thus began my liaison with baldness treatments. For a few months my tryst with allopathy, homeopathy, immunosuppressants, stress reduction and application of coffee beans ended with the only luxurious thing on my head, the shine.
Not wanting to squander my efforts, I discovered one method of hiding hair loss is the "comb-over", which involves restyling the remaining hair to cover the balding area. Though a temporary solution, the life of my remaining hair will determine my extreme effort in covering up the hairless patch.
My life is now coming back to normalcy albeit the bald bit continues to grow, but whenever a cricket commentator screams that the bowler has “scalped” another wicket, my heart misses a beat. Balsam, protein and conditioners have very little emotive meanings now. Toothpaste advertisements are more interesting than the shampoo ones, until I begin visiting the dentist.
3 comments:
Appu, write some easy english or some hinglish. Mine have also turned slat and pepper very fast in last 12 months, but who cares........now i feel that it really matters................
Hi Apu (Legally Bald Bun Muska)..Good that you have stopped treating 'Androgenic Alopecia'. The problem with Trichologist' treatment is that HAIR WILL DEFINITELY GROW BUT NOT AT THE RIGHT PLACES :)).. And that would unnecessarily lead you to a Proctologist.. :))
BTW ..According to me you arent all that bald ..you still can scalp a few beauties with your chubby cheeks and small circle of shining baldness.
Keep writing ..Enjoying yr blogs.
niketan
Hi Bun Muska,
According to our dear Doc in his ‘hole-ly Mible’, baldness is a good sign – an increase in testosterone levels, which affects the region pretty much close to the ‘proctologist’ working area. And opposites attract, so your visiting a ‘trichologist’ is logical.
Incidentally, when I type trichologist my software shows as spelling error and suggests to use ‘archaeologist’ instead!! Try it... :))
Good humor for Saturday. Keep writing.
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